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I find a nice Chardonnay goes best with wholesale slaughter.
Its a new year!! Have you all sobered up yet? Pretty sure I haven't, but with the festivities of the holidays over it's time to get back to what we all do best - bringing you the best in quality violence!
Today WPNN are live at the Sonic Canyons, Gates of The Inferno, and bringing you an update on the battle against the Reavers, those extra-planar wankers assaulting Cybertron by turning Prowl into an even bigger asshat than he was previously.
We don't know much about these guys, but as a reminder we've put together a rundown of what has happened so far in this war.
- The Reavers came from a dimension they refer to as the 'Dead Space', and using biting alt modes, began to infect Cybertronians with a mind - altering virus.
- The virus, called The Brood Virus, invades the mind of whoever it infects, turning them into a drone soldier in their army, known only as 'The Brood'.
- We have a lead to a cure but no ability to vaccinate ourselves from it, yet.
- There were 12 'gifted' Cybertronians out there that likely hold the key to eradicating this virus, but many are currently MIA.
- We know nothing about the ‘Dead Space’, or if it has any connection to the Dead Universe, only that an artefact called 'Throne of Vir' once held them there, until it was destroyed in an unknown event by unknown people.
- These ‘Brood’ forces, currently comprised mostly of infected NAILs but also a growing number of infected Autobots and Decepticons, were massing at the edge of the Sonic Canyons but have begun to mobilise. Appearing to have no obvious leader, reports state that they are swarming towards the Decepticon-held region of Kaon and it's Darkmount fortress, currently under the command of Starscream.
- Our combined forces in the Sonic Canyons are led by a uneasy truce between Ultra Magnus and Soundwave, with Ironhide and Sixshot leading the Cybertronian armies in the field with some success, until now.
- Nothing has been heard from the self-titled 'True Reavers' since Apostate's recent ultimatum.
- Lastly, the Autobots chief tactical officer Prowl has been confirmed as 'compromised' and is to be considered an enemy, but has not yet been spotted on the battlefield.
There is some good news though!
Down at the front lines of the battle, we've caught up with the Autobot interrogations specialist's who have been speaking to one of the creatures that escaped from the Dead Space, and we have their report here; over to you Autobots!That scheming rabbit over at Traitors-R-us wrote:"Ah, yes, uh, thanks Zombi. My name is Abyssal. I am assistant Autobot Parole Officer assigned to Bun-Bun (and company's) 'rehabilitation' and as such I will be relaying the information his group has learned.""And I'm Killerpunch, Bx2's Intelligence Officer and sometimes Zombi Cheerleader Digital cosplayer ('Sup babe) here to help this no-charisma, nerdy, mouth-piece for "The Man" with color commentary."
What? That isn't what I was told. Bun told me you'd just be standing by if we had 'techincal issues'""Well your typical-Bot complete-lack-of-personality is technically an issue for us."
*sigh*
"Yes, whatever, anyways...
The 'creature', well, uh, first of all, does not like being referred to as 'creature' as some of my colleges could tell you...""... if they weren't still in CR. Darn thing has a taste for ex-Cons it seems."
"As best as we've been able to translate, with the surprising help of the team's resident, uhm..."...Abomination, Sin-Against-Nature,..."
"...erm, "Recycled Cybertronian", Kludge, with whom it seems to feel some kinship, it refers to itself as a Drnarbyt, perhaps a time-corrupted form of Dinobot, and seems to belong to one of two tribes."" Yeah, 'Ugly' & 'Uglier' "
"stop it."
"When asked why it came here it communicated "Trapped was. Not now. Fly some, easy leave. Not some.""When asked why it talked like an idiot it bit my hand off. Sensitive little varmit."
*sigh*
"Asked it's intentions toward the Autobots & Decepticons it seemed confused and did not answer, though the ongoing CR situation seems to point to it disliking the former Decpticons in our group more than the Autobots. It seems it has some sense after all."" What exactly do you mean by that poindexter?"
"Nothing!"
"Moving on...
We then presented it with a recording of the Reavers last transmission, the being became highly agitated & attempted escape. Though the injuries were extensive we were able to subdue the creature... ""Kludge sat on it"
"...but have learned little since.""Except that it's flatter & smells funny now."
"WILL YOU GET OUT OF HERE!
*kicks KP offscreen*
"sorry about that"
"Ahem...From this limited interogation & general observation we can posit the following:Abyssal's actual report wrote:- They seem to have the ability to transform. Some obviously can fly but there are others that cannot. All of them seem to have a terrible bite weapon. Perhaps an adaption to their harsh environment.
- These creatures seem to have been trapped in the Dead Universe for a very long time and may be ancient cybertronians or at least their descendants.
- This one at least seems at somewhat predispossed to Autobots, but this may not be the case for all of the escaping beings.
- The now-destroyed Throne of Vir had up until this point prevented these creatures, and who knows what else, from returning to Cybertron."You know what I think, this is all an elaborate coverup for genetic & pathogen experiments run by Prowl & Ultra Magnus at the behest of their Primalist Masters"
"... really""Yup, they made up this whole Reavers thing just so they could use us as guinea pigs and gain more control with 'Emergency Powers'. Otherwise they'da just built a big ol' forcefield around the place to keep them Ill Reaver/Drnarbyts out and make Cybertron grea..."
"THAT'S IT! REPORT OVER"
*Cue 'Yakkety Sax' as Abyssal chases Killerpunch around the studio trying to hit him with the mic stand*
<<END TRANSMISSION>>
Uh... Meanwhile, our own energon-drinking ‘interrogation’ agent has been let loose on the Autobot escapee’s counterpart believed a member of an ancient primitive tribe called the T'rra'cons. We have a copy of her report here.Parasite's Interrogation Report wrote:Subject 'CT1' was reluctant to speak upon capture. Having demonstrated its offensive capabilities by biting Hazard in half and flying away, it was soon brought down by a combination of us concealing Zombi's Sharkticon 'pet' and tying Nemesis Wheelie up as bait.
Interrogation began with the standard questions, but revealing little. The language used by the subject is an old Cybertronian dialect, and a dermal plating sample placed it as originating from the Prototronic era, meaning that its imprisonment within the Dead Space happened before the Heavy Metal War era began and modern armour alloys were created. Still refusing to answer any questions, I invaded its mind to extract the data forcefully using my specialist fluid-extraction fangs (which are not, as Zombi likes to call them, 'Emo Twilight Teeth'), and this is where we had our first breakthrough. Having spent unknown milennia exposed to radiation and viral-nanotech simply by being in the vicinity of the Reavers, Subject CT1 ‘supplied’ us with a complete CNA-snapshot of the virus nanites. Being a neural-control specialist myself, I was able to identify and isolate a pristine sample of the virus. We now know creating a cure is possible and how, the details of which have been passed to the Senate. Establishing any weaknesses within the Reaver's was far easier. Having realised that he was unable to lie once I had infected him with nanobots of my own, and he quickly revealed that the negative radiation from the Dead Universe has been seeping into these True Reaper’s sparks and slowly poisoning them, the driving force behind their assault on our universe. If the correct radiation technology can be applied and weaponised, we will have an effective weapon against the both Reavers and Brood that shouldn’t do any permanent damage to any infected Cybertronian. Again, extensive research and testing is required and the details have again been passed to the senate. Subject CT1 interrogation completed, his altmode schematics have been uploaded to the master database along with those of his Autobot-captured counterpart, and he is now back in the cells until his mind and energon fluid levels have recovered so Chompy can finish eating him... Are you even listening Zombi?? Ugh. She's taken her head off and replaced with a lamp!? I hate Headmasters. I can't work under these conditions! I QUIT!!
Finally! ...and for those of you who also fell asleep during that, Vlad the Interrogator there just discovered 3 things:- There is a cure, the composition of which is being checked by the Senate.
- We have discovered a weapon type that may be able to defeat the Reaver control allowing us to capture and cure any infected Cybertronians, however more field research is required.
- We are running out of time. The Brood armies are already on the move towards Kaon, and we have no idea who we can and cannot trust.
Arm yourselves and prepare for the hunt, the cure and a way to take down the Brood and develop a way to stop the brood have been given to us on a plate, but we have to pick our moment.
Stay tuned to WarPorn News Network for updates!!
Future information about Round 4 and 5 wrote:Round 4 is a secret round, the details of which will be released later.
Round 5 is an Elimination round.
- You will be fighting for your lives against the Brood.
- There will be special missions for this round, and only scores and results in these missions count.
- Everyone not signed up is considered part of the ‘Brood’.
- When your character is killed by someone in the Brood, it is infected.
- Infected characters count as Brood until killed by a special weapon (when it is eliminated) or cured (returns to the game).
- There will be other ‘complications’ to be announced closer to the time.
- Last faction with surviving players wins.
Detailed rules will be released closer to the time, this is just so you know what the weapons and cure do.
Burn wrote:...**** it, I'll have a go.
Burn wrote:I'm never clicking any of your links ever again.
Burn wrote:High Command is an arsehat.
steve2275 wrote:is this some sort of work with the cons thing?
High Command wrote:Burn wrote:...**** it, I'll have a go.
It's the chance of winning that custom weapon isn't it? ;P
steve2275 wrote:nothing more than an alt hunt
got it
Burn wrote:High Command wrote:Burn wrote:...**** it, I'll have a go.
It's the chance of winning that custom weapon isn't it? ;P
I like to think of it more as cock-blocking ...
Burn wrote:I'm never clicking any of your links ever again.
Burn wrote:High Command is an arsehat.
Bun-Bun wrote:Hey Zero what happened to your increased participation ?![]()
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Burn wrote:Bun-Bun wrote:Hey Zero what happened to your increased participation ?![]()
![]()
He's busy reading news related e-mails and then filing them under "someone else can do it".
ZeroWolf wrote:Burn wrote:Bun-Bun wrote:Hey Zero what happened to your increased participation ?![]()
![]()
He's busy reading news related e-mails and then filing them under "someone else can do it".
Do you have a camera in my houseif so then I apologise about the karaoke...
ZeroWolf wrote:As far as I'm aware there's nothing at the moment but I'm about to news some card reveals and I need to do a look around the Web, though once I'm in bed you'll have to talk to the staff West of the Atlantic
Fixed that for you.Burn wrote:Our nerds are more important.
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