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Ironhidensh wrote:

SlyTF1 wrote:

Ironhidensh wrote:I'm intrigued. Seriously.

You want me to send you the link?

By the way, I kind of need this done within the next few days. So, if anyone wants to give feedback, let me know soon.

Sure. I'm starting vacation.

Did you get the message?

Shadowman wrote:

Rodimus Prime wrote:

RhA wrote:I'll bite. How long is it?

That's what she said.

I feel like this is the only post that could ever really contribute to this discussion.

SlyTF1 wrote:

RhA wrote:I'll bite. How long is it?

50 pages.

Oof, I was down with reading your drivel up until you gave that number. I mean, I already know it's going to be trash, considering you have incredibly low standards when it comes to writing, (The TF movies were trash and the sooner you can admit that, the sooner we can all move on) but it would at least be fun to read as part of a group activity, like reading "My Immortal." But I don't know about 50 pages, I can only take so much before I feel the urge to kill myself with alcohol poisoning.

Now go ahead and insult my intelligence, something about how I couldn't comprehend your work. We all know that's your next move.

Okay, serious talk here--I'm leaving the sarcasm and snark at the guard booth.

Some say that great pain in life often creates the best works of fiction. James O'Barr (The Crow) had to deal with the death of his fiancee from a hit-and-run. Now before you say that The Crow was nothing special, I'm not saying it is or isn't, but it was something that came from O'Barr's very soul, the unresolved anger that was pent up inside him. And it resonated with a lot of people who've had to deal with either the sudden death or murder of a loved one, or are just angry with the general injustices of the world.

Philip K. Dick apparently also had psychological issues stemming from the early death of his twin sister.

Hideaki Anno was in a state of emotional depression when he created the characters for NGE.

From what I gather, Sly seems to be in pretty bad shape emotionally in real life, so there's plenty of anger and disappointment to be had. I think if he'd just outgrow that childish, obnoxious pretense of trying to come off as a scary psychopath, he might just produce a worthwhile piece of fiction. He just needs to focus that anger by asking himself just what he feels would would make all his problems go away. That need to right a wrong in his life will be the driving force of all his stories.

That being said, one would also need perseverance, patience and knowledge of literary techniques to write a proper story--some talent wouldn't hurt either. Until this 50 page story of his sees the light of day, I'll reserve my judgment, though.

Rant complete.

SKYWARPED_128 wrote:

Shadowman wrote:

Rodimus Prime wrote:

RhA wrote:I'll bite. How long is it?

That's what she said.

I feel like this is the only post that could ever really contribute to this discussion.

SlyTF1 wrote:

RhA wrote:I'll bite. How long is it?

50 pages.

Oof, I was down with reading your drivel up until you gave that number. I mean, I already know it's going to be trash, considering you have incredibly low standards when it comes to writing, (The TF movies were trash and the sooner you can admit that, the sooner we can all move on) but it would at least be fun to read as part of a group activity, like reading "My Immortal." But I don't know about 50 pages, I can only take so much before I feel the urge to kill myself with alcohol poisoning.

Now go ahead and insult my intelligence, something about how I couldn't comprehend your work. We all know that's your next move.

Okay, serious talk here--I'm leaving the sarcasm and snark at the guard booth.

Some say that great pain in life often creates the best works of fiction. James O'Barr (The Crow) had to deal with the death of his fiancee from a hit-and-run. Now before you say that The Crow was nothing special, I'm not saying it is or isn't, but it was something that came from O'Barr's very soul, the unresolved anger that was pent up inside him. And it resonated with a lot of people who've had to deal with either the sudden death or murder of a loved one, or are just angry with the general injustices of the world.

Philip K. Dick apparently also had psychological issues stemming from the early death of his twin sister.

Hideaki Anno was in a state of emotional depression when he created the characters for NGE.

From what I gather, Sly seems to be in pretty bad shape emotionally in real life, so there's plenty of anger and disappointment to be had. I think if he'd just outgrow that childish, obnoxious pretense of trying to come off as a scary psychopath, he might just produce a worthwhile piece of fiction. He just needs to focus that anger by asking himself just what he feels would would make all his problems go away. That need to right a wrong in his life will be the driving force of all his stories.

That being said, one would also need talent and technique to write a proper story. Until this 50 page story of his sees the light of day, I'll reserve my judgment, though.

Rant complete.

I'm not angry. I just don't like the mindset of human beings.

SlyTF1 wrote:

SKYWARPED_128 wrote:

Shadowman wrote:

Rodimus Prime wrote:

RhA wrote:I'll bite. How long is it?

That's what she said.

I feel like this is the only post that could ever really contribute to this discussion.

SlyTF1 wrote:

RhA wrote:I'll bite. How long is it?

50 pages.

Oof, I was down with reading your drivel up until you gave that number. I mean, I already know it's going to be trash, considering you have incredibly low standards when it comes to writing, (The TF movies were trash and the sooner you can admit that, the sooner we can all move on) but it would at least be fun to read as part of a group activity, like reading "My Immortal." But I don't know about 50 pages, I can only take so much before I feel the urge to kill myself with alcohol poisoning.

Now go ahead and insult my intelligence, something about how I couldn't comprehend your work. We all know that's your next move.

Okay, serious talk here--I'm leaving the sarcasm and snark at the guard booth.

Some say that great pain in life often creates the best works of fiction. James O'Barr (The Crow) had to deal with the death of his fiancee from a hit-and-run. Now before you say that The Crow was nothing special, I'm not saying it is or isn't, but it was something that came from O'Barr's very soul, the unresolved anger that was pent up inside him. And it resonated with a lot of people who've had to deal with either the sudden death or murder of a loved one, or are just angry with the general injustices of the world.

Philip K. Dick apparently also had psychological issues stemming from the early death of his twin sister.

Hideaki Anno was in a state of emotional depression when he created the characters for NGE.

From what I gather, Sly seems to be in pretty bad shape emotionally in real life, so there's plenty of anger and disappointment to be had. I think if he'd just outgrow that childish, obnoxious pretense of trying to come off as a scary psychopath, he might just produce a worthwhile piece of fiction. He just needs to focus that anger by asking himself just what he feels would would make all his problems go away. That need to right a wrong in his life will be the driving force of all his stories.

That being said, one would also need talent and technique to write a proper story. Until this 50 page story of his sees the light of day, I'll reserve my judgment, though.

Rant complete.

I'm not angry. I just don't like the mindset of human beings.

Anger, unhappiness, discontent, whatever--same difference. Just stop standing on some self-made philosophical high ground and pretending to be fricking Zarathustra or something, and be more honest with yourself and everyone around you. Then maybe you can write something that resonates with your audience.

SKYWARPED_128 wrote:

SlyTF1 wrote:

SKYWARPED_128 wrote:

Shadowman wrote:

Rodimus Prime wrote:

RhA wrote:I'll bite. How long is it?

That's what she said.

I feel like this is the only post that could ever really contribute to this discussion.

SlyTF1 wrote:

RhA wrote:I'll bite. How long is it?

50 pages.

Oof, I was down with reading your drivel up until you gave that number. I mean, I already know it's going to be trash, considering you have incredibly low standards when it comes to writing, (The TF movies were trash and the sooner you can admit that, the sooner we can all move on) but it would at least be fun to read as part of a group activity, like reading "My Immortal." But I don't know about 50 pages, I can only take so much before I feel the urge to kill myself with alcohol poisoning.

Now go ahead and insult my intelligence, something about how I couldn't comprehend your work. We all know that's your next move.

Okay, serious talk here--I'm leaving the sarcasm and snark at the guard booth.

Some say that great pain in life often creates the best works of fiction. James O'Barr (The Crow) had to deal with the death of his fiancee from a hit-and-run. Now before you say that The Crow was nothing special, I'm not saying it is or isn't, but it was something that came from O'Barr's very soul, the unresolved anger that was pent up inside him. And it resonated with a lot of people who've had to deal with either the sudden death or murder of a loved one, or are just angry with the general injustices of the world.

Philip K. Dick apparently also had psychological issues stemming from the early death of his twin sister.

Hideaki Anno was in a state of emotional depression when he created the characters for NGE.

From what I gather, Sly seems to be in pretty bad shape emotionally in real life, so there's plenty of anger and disappointment to be had. I think if he'd just outgrow that childish, obnoxious pretense of trying to come off as a scary psychopath, he might just produce a worthwhile piece of fiction. He just needs to focus that anger by asking himself just what he feels would would make all his problems go away. That need to right a wrong in his life will be the driving force of all his stories.

That being said, one would also need talent and technique to write a proper story. Until this 50 page story of his sees the light of day, I'll reserve my judgment, though.

Rant complete.

I'm not angry. I just don't like the mindset of human beings.

Anger, unhappiness, discontent, whatever--same difference. Just stop standing on some self-made philosophical high ground and pretending to be fricking Zarathustra or something, and be more honest with yourself and everyone around you. Then maybe you can write something that resonates with your audience.

I am being honest with myself. If I weren't honest, I'd be just like everyone else. And how do you know what I have written doesn't resonate?

SlyTF1 wrote:

SKYWARPED_128 wrote:

SlyTF1 wrote:

SKYWARPED_128 wrote:

Shadowman wrote:

Rodimus Prime wrote:

RhA wrote:I'll bite. How long is it?

That's what she said.

I feel like this is the only post that could ever really contribute to this discussion.

SlyTF1 wrote:

RhA wrote:I'll bite. How long is it?

50 pages.

Oof, I was down with reading your drivel up until you gave that number. I mean, I already know it's going to be trash, considering you have incredibly low standards when it comes to writing, (The TF movies were trash and the sooner you can admit that, the sooner we can all move on) but it would at least be fun to read as part of a group activity, like reading "My Immortal." But I don't know about 50 pages, I can only take so much before I feel the urge to kill myself with alcohol poisoning.

Now go ahead and insult my intelligence, something about how I couldn't comprehend your work. We all know that's your next move.

Okay, serious talk here--I'm leaving the sarcasm and snark at the guard booth.

Some say that great pain in life often creates the best works of fiction. James O'Barr (The Crow) had to deal with the death of his fiancee from a hit-and-run. Now before you say that The Crow was nothing special, I'm not saying it is or isn't, but it was something that came from O'Barr's very soul, the unresolved anger that was pent up inside him. And it resonated with a lot of people who've had to deal with either the sudden death or murder of a loved one, or are just angry with the general injustices of the world.

Philip K. Dick apparently also had psychological issues stemming from the early death of his twin sister.

Hideaki Anno was in a state of emotional depression when he created the characters for NGE.

From what I gather, Sly seems to be in pretty bad shape emotionally in real life, so there's plenty of anger and disappointment to be had. I think if he'd just outgrow that childish, obnoxious pretense of trying to come off as a scary psychopath, he might just produce a worthwhile piece of fiction. He just needs to focus that anger by asking himself just what he feels would would make all his problems go away. That need to right a wrong in his life will be the driving force of all his stories.

That being said, one would also need talent and technique to write a proper story. Until this 50 page story of his sees the light of day, I'll reserve my judgment, though.

Rant complete.

I'm not angry. I just don't like the mindset of human beings.

Anger, unhappiness, discontent, whatever--same difference. Just stop standing on some self-made philosophical high ground and pretending to be fricking Zarathustra or something, and be more honest with yourself and everyone around you. Then maybe you can write something that resonates with your audience.

I am being honest with myself. If I weren't honest, I'd be just like everyone else. And how do you know what I have written doesn't resonate?

I'm not critiquing your work, so there's no need to be defensive.

You've been calling yourself God and everyone else "mortals" and whatever. Unless you can part the red sea or make manna fall from the sky, I'm pretty sure you're just pretending to be God. To put it plain and simple, the pretense comes from you high-handed way of interacting with people, like you've lived countless lifetimes and have achieved some sort of Buddhist enlightenment.

That's dishonesty. Worse, that's play-acting.

And FYI, I'm actually trying to help you. I half-expected you to snub me anyway, so no surprise there. I thought it was unfair of Shadowman to judge your potential as a writer without even looking at anything you've written, but I guess the joke's on me.

My bad, Shadow. You were right.

SKYWARPED_128 wrote:

SlyTF1 wrote:

SKYWARPED_128 wrote:

SlyTF1 wrote:

SKYWARPED_128 wrote:

Shadowman wrote:

Rodimus Prime wrote:

RhA wrote:I'll bite. How long is it?

That's what she said.

I feel like this is the only post that could ever really contribute to this discussion.

SlyTF1 wrote:

RhA wrote:I'll bite. How long is it?

50 pages.

Oof, I was down with reading your drivel up until you gave that number. I mean, I already know it's going to be trash, considering you have incredibly low standards when it comes to writing, (The TF movies were trash and the sooner you can admit that, the sooner we can all move on) but it would at least be fun to read as part of a group activity, like reading "My Immortal." But I don't know about 50 pages, I can only take so much before I feel the urge to kill myself with alcohol poisoning.

Now go ahead and insult my intelligence, something about how I couldn't comprehend your work. We all know that's your next move.

Okay, serious talk here--I'm leaving the sarcasm and snark at the guard booth.

Some say that great pain in life often creates the best works of fiction. James O'Barr (The Crow) had to deal with the death of his fiancee from a hit-and-run. Now before you say that The Crow was nothing special, I'm not saying it is or isn't, but it was something that came from O'Barr's very soul, the unresolved anger that was pent up inside him. And it resonated with a lot of people who've had to deal with either the sudden death or murder of a loved one, or are just angry with the general injustices of the world.

Philip K. Dick apparently also had psychological issues stemming from the early death of his twin sister.

Hideaki Anno was in a state of emotional depression when he created the characters for NGE.

From what I gather, Sly seems to be in pretty bad shape emotionally in real life, so there's plenty of anger and disappointment to be had. I think if he'd just outgrow that childish, obnoxious pretense of trying to come off as a scary psychopath, he might just produce a worthwhile piece of fiction. He just needs to focus that anger by asking himself just what he feels would would make all his problems go away. That need to right a wrong in his life will be the driving force of all his stories.

That being said, one would also need talent and technique to write a proper story. Until this 50 page story of his sees the light of day, I'll reserve my judgment, though.

Rant complete.

I'm not angry. I just don't like the mindset of human beings.

Anger, unhappiness, discontent, whatever--same difference. Just stop standing on some self-made philosophical high ground and pretending to be fricking Zarathustra or something, and be more honest with yourself and everyone around you. Then maybe you can write something that resonates with your audience.

I am being honest with myself. If I weren't honest, I'd be just like everyone else. And how do you know what I have written doesn't resonate?

I'm not critiquing your work, so there's no need to be defensive.

You've been calling yourself God and everyone else "mortals" and whatever. Unless you can part the red sea or make manna fall from the sky, I'm pretty sure you're just pretending to be God. To put it plain and simple, the pretense comes from you high-handed way of interacting with people, like you've lived countless lifetimes and have achieved some sort of Buddhist enlightenment.

That's dishonesty. Worse, that's play-acting.

And FYI, I'm actually trying to help you. I half-expected you to snub me anyway, so no surprise there. I thought it was unfair of Shadowman to judge your potential as a writer without even looking at anything you've written, but I guess the joke's on me.

My bad, Shadow. You were right.

The problem with that, though, is that I'm not pretending.

I'm not trying to be defensive. All I'm doing is telling you like it is. The problem isn't with me, it's with the human condition. And that's what I'm aiming to change with my writing. Maybe not human nature itself, but the way people perceive it. Right now, my goal is to challenge just one person's view of human nature. If I can do that, everything else can fall into place. Though, the characters in my stories aren't human, I still use them to reflect certain aspects of the typical human constitution.

I'm sorely tempted to read it myself. Particularly since it's fiction. I like seeing people at least making the attempt to express themselves through one or more creative means. I'll ponder a bit. Don't want to offer if I can't follow through.

I can't help but think it could either be quite riveting or wind up being like the manifesto from that kid in LA who drove around shooting people because he, too, was convinced he was god and was mad at all women for not dating him. Just nonsensical.

SlyTF1 wrote:The problem with that, though, is that I'm not pretending.

I'm not trying to be defensive. All I'm doing is telling you like it is. The problem isn't with me, it's with the human condition. And that's what I'm aiming to change with my writing. Maybe not human nature itself, but the way people perceive it. Right now, my goal is to challenge just one person's view of human nature. If I can do that, everything else can fall into place. Though, the characters in my stories aren't human, I still use them to reflect certain aspects of the typical human constitution.

The problem is that you're a smug asshole, and no one wants to listen to a thing you have to say. For example, every conversation you've been involved with on this site. Or specifically, how SKYWARPED_128 was trying to help you...but then you went and ruined that, causing him to turn around and admit that I was right.

And now that I'm thinking about it, that is hilariously ironic. You want to change people, and you did! Unfortunately, you changed him to my way of thinking. Which is that you're a smug asshole.

Insidious wrote:I'm sorely tempted to read it myself. Particularly since it's fiction. I like seeing people at least making the attempt to express themselves through one or more creative means. I'll ponder a bit. Don't want to offer if I can't follow through.

I can't help but think it could either be quite riveting or wind up being like the manifesto from that kid in LA who drove around shooting people because he, too, was convinced he was god and was mad at all women for not dating him. Just nonsensical.

Lol. Nothing like that. Like I've said, none of the characters represent me. It's just an entire universe I've been developing in my head for years.

What the heck. I can probably burn through most of it at work. Send a link if ye like.

I keep telling you people there's something not right with them RPG people.

Shadowman wrote:The problem is that you're a smug ****, and no one wants to listen to a thing you have to say. For example, every conversation you've been involved with on this site. Or specifically, how SKYWARPED_128 was trying to help you...but then you went and ruined that, causing him to turn around and admit that I was right.

And now that I'm thinking about it, that is hilariously ironic. You want to change people, and you did! Unfortunately, you changed him to my way of thinking. Which is that you're a smug ****.

No good deed goes unpunished, and all that.

SlyTF1 wrote:The problem with that, though, is that I'm not pretending.

I'm not trying to be defensive. All I'm doing is telling you like it is. The problem isn't with me, it's with the human condition. And that's what I'm aiming to change with my writing. Maybe not human nature itself, but the way people perceive it. Right now, my goal is to challenge just one person's view of human nature. If I can do that, everything else can fall into place. Though, the characters in my stories aren't human, I still use them to reflect certain aspects of the typical human constitution.

Let's not even get into that for now. What drives you to write? What, in the shortest possible sentence you can manage, and in the clearest way, describes your vision of what and how humanity should be?

All that stuff about philosophy and challenging people's minds means nothing if you can't answer that question. Go ahead and post that very same statement you made on Orson Scott Card's hatrack.com in his Q&A section; he'll tell you the exact same thing.

And more importantly, you're writing to entertain--nothing more. If people want to be educated and read philosophy, they'll buy a book on philosophy. Weaving your beliefs into the story is a byproduct of your work, but not the purpose of it.

Another published author whose name escapes me has this to say about a writer's priorities.
It goes something like this:

"No one 'needs' to read your work. If you think you're doing anything more noble than to keep a guy entertained for the time it takes to finish those 300 or so pages, you need to get off your high horse."

And to tell a proper story, you have to first ask yourself that question. It will be the driving force of all your stories.

All I keep hearing from you is that you hate the human condition, yadda yadda yadda, but you never get into the specifics. Every answer from you is like a carousel, going in circles with the illusion of forward movement.

Just follow the template below:

James O'Barr: feels a need to experience a reckoning for the death of his fiancee, and pens The Crow as a comic.

David Gemmell: looked up to his stepfather as a child, and loved the spirit of the Alamo. Also had a false alarm in his fifties thinking he had cancer, and went on to write the Drenai saga, focusing on camaraderie and the strength of will in aging men.

Hideaki Anno: Suffers from severe depression, and thus creates Neon Genesis Evangelion, which centers around a boy with no will to live, but is placed in a position to usher in the end of days.

SlyTF1: ???

And in case there's any doubt: against my better judgment, I am still trying to give you constructive writing advice. No, you didn't ask for my help, but the nosy-ass Good Samaritan in me just can't help it.

Burn wrote:I keep telling you people there's something not right with them RPG people.

Put some barbed wire and electrified fencing around our forums and maybe we'll stop escaping into the wider community

I would like to read your story.

To everyone who elected to leave their feedback regarding my story, I'm going to need it in by tomorrow. Not trying to be pushy, but I need to get this done as soon as possible. I'm ready to go through with publishing it. So if anyone still wants to, I'll need it tomorrow, else any further feedback will be for naught. Just saying.

What's the wordcount, and can you email it right now?

Va'al wrote:What's the wordcount, and can you email it right now?

15,840, and yes. Would you like me to?

SlyTF1 wrote:

Va'al wrote:What's the wordcount, and can you email it right now?

15,840, and yes. Would you like me to?

HNNG that's a good 20 pages there.
I might be able to read through it, use vaal at seibertron dot com.

Va'al wrote:

SlyTF1 wrote:

Va'al wrote:What's the wordcount, and can you email it right now?

15,840, and yes. Would you like me to?

HNNG that's a good 20 pages there.
I might be able to read through it, use vaal at seibertron dot com.

It's actually 52 pages.

How? All my thesis chapters are fewer than 20k, and have images, and do not cross the 25 page limit.

Just send it over, I'll give it a look if I can.

Va'al wrote:How? All my thesis chapters are fewer than 20k, and have images, and do not cross the 25 page limit.

Just send it over, I'll give it a look if I can.

Either he's using small words a lot, or he's double-spaced to pad it out.

Shadowman wrote:

Va'al wrote:How? All my thesis chapters are fewer than 20k, and have images, and do not cross the 25 page limit.

Just send it over, I'll give it a look if I can.

Either he's using small words a lot, or he's double-spaced to pad it out.

Lots o' dialogue.

Shadowman wrote:

Va'al wrote:How? All my thesis chapters are fewer than 20k, and have images, and do not cross the 25 page limit.

Just send it over, I'll give it a look if I can.

Either he's using small words a lot, or he's double-spaced to pad it out.

It is double spaced. I submitted it for a contest a while ago, and one of the requirements was that it had to be double spaced.

I just read you're in a hurry for that feedback. I'll speed it up.